Are You Lonely and Not Alone?

Are You Lonely in Your Relationship?

Lots of women are lonely in their relationships. Does this sound like you? And even if it does and you’re willing to admit it… you might not know how to get yourself out of it. And hopefully and truthfully that is what you want…right? Okay, let’s break this down. First of all how does this happen?

The Law of Attraction works with Everything even the Negative!!

Most of the time we are attracted to someone because of what we like about them and also…this is the surprise… because of what we don’t like about them. That’s right! We pick partners who have the same or complementary negative “stuff” that we do. And the fact that we are trying so hard to keep our own negative qualities hidden from ourselves and all the other people in our lives (and that attempt is also doomed to fail!) we are also caught off guard when we discover the corresponding negative aspects in our mates.

And for the record, they (your partner and mate) are in the same bitter battle to not notice their own negative qualities. So when the two negative qualities in two people come together that is called a negative pattern…because it will always manifest in this manner until one person changes.

It Takes Two to Tango and it takes One to start the Change!

So often looking back I see how I was aware of what was wrong with my husband! Darn him!! And failed to look at how I had created him as my husband, starting with the very obvious fact that… I chose him! And then 14 years later I was so undeniably lonely. I ached. Then I met Ti and found out about having a Bright Future and I saw myself in a wonderful relationship with a man who loved me and I loved him back. And wait…we were HAPPY together. And when issues came up we cleared the air quickly and got back to the LOVE! We had mutual interests and did chores together, and added to each other’s lives. That’s what I dared to dream for the first time in my life. And suddenly… I had HOPE that I could actually have that.

But I had to look at the fact that I was not being honest with my husband Tom, and I was perpetuating the problem, by virtue of my own flaws and unwillingness to admit them. So the first step is… be willing to change yourself. Be willing to see how your impact on your mate might just be the catalyst to actually drive them away. I know this is tough. That’s what I do with people. And you change by virtue of your honesty and then you can invite your partner to change as well.

What if they won’t? Be the leader and keep working on yourself!

Then it’s your choice: either to have a bright future with someone else or to stay in a mediocre relationship. Whichever you decide, just be honest about it. But really if you want the loneliness gone, (and mine certainly is gone now) you must be willing to do the work on your part. One client commented on what a nice man her husband was, And yet she was lonely. This doesn’t have anything about being nice! This has to do with intimacy, honesty, caring, giving, being known , responding and respecting each other. This has to do with commitment to not just staying in the relationship, but making it work.

  1. See what your ideal relationship will look like. Imagine yourself living it. How does it look? How does it feel? Write it down.
  2.  If any doubts or negative emotions come up…you’ll need to process these past hurts with someone who can help you heal. I recommend any FutureVisioning™ Practitioner and Coach.
  3. What is your definition of Love? Write that down. If we don’t come up with our own understanding we often end up with our parent’s understanding or other peoples’ beliefs.
  4. What are your negative or limiting beliefs about Love? (i.e. love hurts; They always let me down; I’m better off with the devil I know; I leave first so I don’t get hurt, etc!) Write these down! They are running the show for you somewhere in the deep recesses of your consciousness and as long as they are not conscious they will hurt you. And guess what… your partner has their set which will dovetail into yours.

Rome wasn’t built overnight and it takes time to change.

FutureVisioning™ is the best way to change. It’s fast and the best thing about it is how quickly it works. But even with that system it will take a while to truly transform a mediocre relationship or a good relationship that has gotten bogged down in the negative programing. Sometimes the change can occur in as little as a couple of session or a few weeks. There is usually an improvement that can give hope even for deeper issues that take longer. How often have you gotten lost and the best way is to backtrack and get back on course? Sometimes we have to re-examine what we’ve done to create the problems. Even good relationships can get better. My husband is now the man of my dreams. My relationship is better than I ever thought possible. I know this can happen for you as well.